Letting Go of a Career Path

Alina Mohanty’s journey began with the dream of becoming a doctor, but circumstances forced her to let go of that path and accept a new reality. Her decision to change course was not easy, shaped by challenges she had to face rather than her choice. In Indian families, quitting or “letting go” is frowned upon. Despite the uncertainty and the social pressure, Alina found strength in embracing her new path, building a life where that “keep-on-going-attitude” and hope became her guiding lights. It is a journey of acceptance, transformation, and finding new purpose in the face of unexpected change.

Boss Naari: Hello Alina. Thank you for being with us today. Let’s start from the very beginning when you went to Russia. What was that experience like stepping into a completely new country for your studies?

Alina: Honestly, getting to Russia felt like fighting my own Mahabharat. The journey started way before I got on that plane. I was going through a rough patch emotionally - struggling with depression - and my parents were against the idea of me studying abroad. Most of my relatives were even more hesitant. They kept warning my parents: “She’s a girl, it’s a foreign country, who knows what could happen?” The day I left, I didn’t even say a proper goodbye to my parents. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I knew if I looked back, I’d see them cry and I wouldn’t be able to hold it together. So, I just walked ahead.

When I finally landed and stepped out of the airport in Russia, it hit me, I’d done something huge. It was surreal. Of course, it came with challenges, the weather was brutal, often dropping below minus 50, and the language barrier made even simple things feel exhausting. Emotionally, it was tough. I was alone in a new country, and to make it harder, my father didn’t speak to me for months as he was scared, and hurt. But I didn’t let myself fall apart. I poured everything into my studies. When it came to studying, everything else would fade. It would be just me and my books. That focus became my escape. Amidst all the anxiety and homesickness, I kept reminding myself that this was my dream, and I was living it.

Alina in Russia

Boss Naari: Obviously, moving away from home brings its emotional challenges. Were there moments of loneliness? And what did your support system look like during that time?

Alina: Yes. The loneliness was real, especially in the beginning. I was all alone, and even though I had achieved something big, a part of me kept wondering if I had made the right decision. Since childhood, I’ve always felt a strong connection with Krishna, not as a god, but as a brother. So in those moments, I’d turn to him. I’d sit quietly, meditate, and listen to bhajans, it helped me calm down. Eventually, I met some wonderful people who just understood me without needing too many words. And when things got too heavy, Mahadev entered the picture. It felt like when Krishna couldn’t handle me, he passed me on to Mahadev and somehow, everything settled down.

What gives Alina strength during tough times

Boss Naari: When COVID hit, how did things change for you as a student?

Alina: It was a disaster. I had COVID-19 symptoms twice, but my tests kept coming back negative, so I couldn’t get medicine or proper care. Before quarantine was officially announced, they said universities would close for an unknown time, and strict lockdown rules confined us to our hostels. Every day, staff checked on us, and the atmosphere was tense.

I was about to take my second-year practical exams, but everything shut down suddenly. We had only an hour to rush to the market amidst the panic, and my mind was foggy, I was exhausted and unfocused. Later, the closure became a blessing because I got some solitude and spent hours meditating, which gave me peace.

When I was sick, it was awful, I was unable to eat or sleep, feeling like I was dying, and unable to talk to my parents or anyone. I felt like a living dead. Emotionally, it was a turbulent time. The isolation was the hardest part. The empty streets outside made everything feel eerie and lonely. Meditation was the only thing that kept me calm.

Boss Naari: After the COVID phase was over, when the war talks started and the situation escalated, how did you feel, and what was the process like when you decided to come back? Was it easy or difficult?

Alina: It felt like yet another huge burden, like mountains were falling on my head. That was when we decided to come back. The university and a travel agency made it easier. The usual travel route was blocked, so we had to take an alternative route through Dubai, which meant a very long layover of around 16-18 hours. Flights were limited, and there were constant announcements of bomb threats, so the situation was very chaotic. Even though the conflict wasn’t very close to us, there was always a fear of something happening. The travel agency arranged special seats for Russian students, and the Indian government also helped by allowing travel between countries during that time. Coming out of Moscow was especially tough. The airport was very strict, with heavy security checks. Most communication was in Russian, which was difficult for us. I felt like they were suspicious of me, like I was a terrorist. Thankfully, some Indian people there understood our situation and helped me get to my boarding gate, which was a big relief. Without that help, and the support from the university and government, it would have been nearly impossible to manage. We saw many people suffering, especially those coming from Ukraine. So overall, it was very tough but manageable with much grace and support.

Boss Naari: After you returned to India, did you still have plans to go back? How did your decision evolve from there?

Alina: Yes, initially it was still in my plan to go back. I thought maybe by September or October, things would calm down and I’d be able to return. But that didn’t happen. The situation kept getting worse. In the middle of all this, the news of the war reached my grandmother. I’m the only girl child in my family, so naturally everyone was very protective. They told me, “Do whatever you want, study from here if needed, but you will not go back”. At the same time, my mother’s health wasn’t great either, and I wasn’t feeling right about going back, my intuition was holding me back. I was stuck between responsibility and ambition —on one hand, there’s the duty of being a doctor, and on the other, there’s your family and your emotional state.

I felt mentally frozen. And when you keep hearing “don’t go” every day from the people closest to you, it gets harder to go against it. Disobeying felt like walking into danger. So, I decided to pause. At first, I thought, “Let’s skip this year—maybe I’ll return next year”. I was doing well, had a scholarship, and a strong bond with my teachers, and my academics were going great. I thought I could continue from where I left off—maybe from the third year or second semester. But every time I tried to plan something, even looked into alternative countries to shift to, nothing worked out. Eventually, I had to accept it. I dropped the idea of going back. Not forever—maybe just for now. But I realized that at least for this phase of life, returning wasn’t going to happen.

Boss Naari: That must have been incredibly hard, how did you deal with the feelings of having to leave behind something you worked so hard for and were so excited about? Especially seeing your friends go back or transfer and continue their dreams. Did it make you feel left out?

Alina: Yes. For a very long time, actually. You know how emotions work—they don’t just end when something ends. To be honest, I kept calling myself a loser in my head. That word—loser—kept echoing. From being that child who worked so hard, who was proud to be a top student, the one who got a scholarship and was even called a student of the year—it felt like all of it collapsed. It was even more hard because I couldn’t share those emotions with my parents. My mother wasn’t well, and financially, things were rough after COVID, especially for a middle-class family. So I was stuck—and while everyone else was moving forward, achieving things, I felt stagnant, stuck in one place. I didn’t even know how to process it emotionally. There was a time back in 10th standard when I had gone through depression, and this period brought all of those feelings back, the anxiety attacks, withdrawing from people, and avoiding social situations. I was scared of gatherings. I didn’t want to talk to anyone because some people would just poke right where it hurts. Some would say things like, “Oh, you were doing so well in studies, and you left it?” And those words weren’t just casual comments, they were like salt in an open wound.

Even though some of my friends were supportive, others made me feel worse, whether they meant to or not. And every day became a routine of waking up, feeling heavy, crying, sleeping… and repeating that. It wasn’t jealousy, it was something deeper. A feeling of complete unworthiness. Everything I had worked so hard for had shattered, not crumbled but shattered like it was in pieces I couldn't pick up.

Boss Naari: That sounds like a difficult time, Alina. How did you decide what to do next?

Alina: It took time. I had almost moved to Armenia, but a family emergency stopped everything at the last moment. That was a turning point. I realized maybe this wasn’t the right time, and I had to stop forcing things to happen just because I wanted them so badly.

I began by facing my emotions instead of running from them. I accepted that the path I had planned for myself might not happen, at least not now. But I reminded myself that my goal was always to help and heal people—and that there could be other ways to do that.

Eventually, I started reconnecting with the creative side of me. I explored new things like writing, fashion, and later, even published a book. Slowly, the feeling of being stuck began to fade. People still criticized me for leaving medicine, but I had peace. I wasn’t where I thought I would be, but I wasn’t standing still either. I was moving forward, and that was enough.

Alina in a publishing event for her first book launch

Boss Naari: Wow, that's great! You mentioned your book earlier, what sparked the beginning of that journey?

Alina: It began a long time ago, back when I was in school. Anytime something affected me emotionally, I’d scribble it down. In Class 10, I went through a phase of depression, and writing became my way of expressing things—sometimes through poetry, sometimes as short reflections. I never thought of publishing; it was just for me.

Later, I started writing on platforms like YourQuote and even contributed to a few anthologies as a co-author under Unite Publication. One day, the head of the publication suggested, "Why don’t you publish your book?" I brushed it off at first. I wondered, "Who would read my poems?" But he believed in my writing, and so did my therapist at the time. She encouraged me too, by saying, “If there's criticism, we’ll handle it together.”

So eventually, I went ahead with it. The team at Unite took care of everything, and the book was published. To my surprise, it was well received—people connected with it, and it even made it to Amazon’s Top 100 New Releases twice. Most of the poems were written during my toughest times, and I think that’s what made them resonate—because when pain is written honestly, it reaches people. That’s what poetry does.

Boss Naari: You’ve been through so much, how has this entire journey shaped who you are today?

Alina: This journey has truly transformed me and helped me evolve as a person. I used to be Daddy’s little princess, very sheltered and delicate. But everything I went through made me strong, even more than that, it made me feel like a goddess. When you connect with your divine feminine energy, you realize you’re much more than just human, you embody a powerful energy that some people might not understand.

Dealing with all the challenges, the pain, and the struggles has brought me closer to a higher consciousness. This transformation didn’t happen overnight, it has been a lifelong process, starting from my birth and continuing through every experience. I truly believe that everything that has happened was for my highest good. Today, I am a completely different person, with a new perspective on life, on myself, and my purpose. This transformation is the greatest blessing I’ve received.

Boss Naari: What would you say has been the biggest lesson you've learned from all these experiences?

Alina: The biggest lesson I’ve learned from all these experiences is patience. Patience is essential not just in a career but in life overall. Without patience, it’s difficult to succeed because life isn’t always smooth, there will be challenges and setbacks. It’s important to understand that not everything will go our way, and sometimes we need to trust the process even when we don’t see immediate results. Patience helps maintain faith and gives clarity to why things happen the way they do. I wasn’t naturally patient as a child or teenager; I struggled with anger and frustration. However developing patience has helped me stay calm, better understand myself and others, and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. Ultimately, patience allows for growth and healing. It’s the foundation for moving forward in life instead of getting stuck.

Alina accoladed for her new role as an author

Boss Naari: That is very insightful. And, for someone who might be in the same place you once were, maybe leaving behind their career or suddenly changing paths, what advice would you give them?

Alina: Yes. When one door closes, thousands more open, it’s just about how we choose to see it. For anyone going through change, my biggest advice is to be patient. If one opportunity ends, it’s because something else is opening for you. It might not be right now, but it will come. And if it feels like everything is closing and you’re surrounded by darkness, remember, you are the light. You have the power to illuminate your path and the world around you.

Change often brings discomfort, pain, and suffering because we are emotional beings, and that’s natural. But running away from those feelings only leads to more misery. We have to sit with our pain, understand why it’s happening, and then take the necessary steps forward. Sometimes we discover talents or paths we didn’t expect.

The universe and the divine are always open to us, ready to guide us, it's all about how we accept and embrace the change. Acceptance is the first step. Once we accept, the willpower to move forward follows naturally. When that happens, instead of one door closing, thousands open. The key is patience, faith, and courage to keep going.